Lovina Is
by Fujodanshi-san's Apprentice
Summary: ...Everything. Well, to Feliciano, she is, but what will she be to a certain blonde, blue-eyed German? T for language
1. Lovina Is Coming

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or anything.**

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Lovina Is Everything—well, to Feliciano, she is.

It all started with an international phone call to America that probably didn't cost much.

Blue eyes widened with irritation when he heard his roommate's cellphone blast his eardrums. Ludwig Beilschmidt groaned in response, and found that it was 2:45 a.m., according to the clock he has on his desk. He tried to roll over but found that his Italian friend and roommate had once again, slept in his bed. Despite the blaring tone that played an irritating song— why can't it do anything else but "NYANYANNYAN?!— the older boy still slept. Without any choice, he propped himself up with on arm and answered it.

A much louder noise, a female one, almost deafened him.

"Feliciano, stupido idiota! Questa è la terza volta ho provato a chiamare te, e hai risposto solo ora? Che diavolo cazzo stai facendo, una volta che arriva sto andando a colpire voi con i pomodori! Allora ti strozzare con la pasta! Non voglio davvero farlo, quindi non piangere.

A proposito, sto venendo. Io arriverò domani"

((Feliciano, you stupid idiot! This is the third time I've tried to call you, and you answered just now?! What the fucking hell are you doing—once I get there I'm going to pelt you with tomatoes! Then I will strangle you with pasta! I won't actually do that, so don't cry.

By the way, I'm coming over. I'll arrive tommorow.))

Just like that, the crazy woman from the other line hung up, leaving Ludwig dumbfounded. Then, there was a knock on the door. Ludwig groaned again, this time in frustration. Why can't he just have a pleasant sleep just like everybody else? Just like Feliciano?

He opened the door to see both occupants of the rooms beside his—Kiku Honda and Yao Wang from one room, then Elizabeta and Roderich from the other. Ah, Antonio was there too.

"Ah, Ludwig-san..." Kiku started.

"Ludwig! Is she here? I heard her voice!" Antonio was hopping like a rabbit, grinning excitedly. "Lovina's coming?!"

He was silenced by Elizabeta, who quickly, but smoothly, hit him on the back of the head with her hand. He went down immediately.

"Quiet down, aru," Yao snapped. He was holding a Hello Kitty pillow with a badly-drawn mouth, and his eyes were droopy. "Unlike you, we still need to sleep, aru." The older boy stalked off to his room, Kiku after him.

"But it was Feliciano's pho—"

"By the way, did Antonio say Lovina is coming?" Elizabeta suddenly asked.

"Well, we both knew that was her voice, but we can't understand Italian," Roderich said. Ludwig raised his eyebrow. "You heard that?"

"Everyone on this dorm probably heard her, Ludwig. Except, maybe Feliciano."

The three looked at the sleeping boy on Ludwig's bed and facepalmed at the same time.

"Same old Feliciano, probably same old Lovina too." Elizabeta yawned. "Well, we're off to sleep again. Put the phone on silent, Ludwig."

The two retreated to ther room (why is Elizabeta with Roderich? Wasn't it supposed to be Gilbert there with him?). "Wait," Ludwig called out.

"Hmm?"

"Who's this... Lovina?"

Roderich looked at him.

"Feliciano did not tell you? Lovina is Feliciano's older sister. Good night, Ludwig."

Ludwig's other eyebrow shot up this time. Older sister? Feliciano's sister? Italian? Italian sister who is related to Feliciano?

Mein Gott.

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"Someone is calling, I am being called! All right, leave it to me; let's go, more! More—"

Ludwig irritatedly answered his phone. "Gilbert. What do you want?"

"West, you didn't wake me up!" Gilbert's annoying whine replied. "It's like, almost twelve—" Ludwig shut his phone. It's already twelve?! He looked at the clock on his desk. A fat, red 12:04 greeted him. The German jumped up in panic and made his bed, then realizing that Feliciano wasn't there. He looked over to his room mate's side. His bag wasn't there.

Feliciano didn't wake him up either. He hurriedly changed clothes, and as he passed by his desk, he saw an innocent-looking paper with his name on it. Frowning, he opened it.

"Dear Luddy,

I heard from Liz and Roddie that you weren't able to sleep well because you talked to my sister~

Oh, she's coming today, and she'll be staying over at our room. Also, I let you sleep longer so you can relax and not get up tired and not feel angry the whole day!

Also, Lovina is older than me by 3 years, so that means she's like, 19. That means she can drink now, and she's probably going to..."

The rest of the letter was Feliciano's writings about Lovina. He stopped reading once he reached "...she grew up with big brother Antonio so she's kind of a dick..."

Ludwig sighed and got his bag. It's turning out to be a nerve-racking day for him.

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"...and she likes tomatoes, just like big brother Antonio! She throws them around like food... She's also really good at cooking pasta because she handpicks the tomatoes by herself, and she makes the sauce, which really delicious! Sometimes, she even makes the pasta herself too, if she has lots of time, and some bread along with it. She always used to whack the dough with the rolling pin when her arms start to hurt from doing all that stuff with the dough.

I remember when we were still in kindergarten! Alfred and his brother, I forgot his name, always got picked on by the older kids because their dads were the scone-eating Eyebrow monster and Big brother Francis (who's actually my oldest cousin and he's like an uncle but whatever) and Lovina and Liz beat them up with a trash bin lid and a bucket from the sand box! But then Lovi got hurt and stuff...

Also she gets angry easily, especially if she's hurt, and she yells because she doesn't want to cry, and she likes throwing things around. She's living with Grandpa Rom now, and he's teaching her to do stuff without getting angry. Last time I saw them, which was before grade seven, he took us to a shooting range! The gun was so heavy, and we couldn't carry it so Grandpa told us to exercise with him everyday, but he couldn't anymore since he's old and his back might break. After that we went to eat pasta! The pasta was so delicious and the sauce was perfect! It doesn't taste like the disgusting American food they have here at the school cafeteria! They also didn't let the pasta get overcooked so I was really happy, but Lovina was complaining because her arms hurt from all the shooting... Oh! About Lovina, she got a tattoo on her back, and it looked like Grandpa Rom's but she didn't want me to see so she got angry at me! I told her I want one too, but she scolded me and told me she won't cook me pasta ever again if I got one.

Oh! Look at the time! I have to go now~

Sweet dreams!

-Feliciano"

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**Please R&R~**

**Sorry if it's bad. It's my first time writing and I just type in whatever...**


	2. Lovina is Not Patient

**Oh my gosH! Thank you so much for my followers and reviewers~!**

**I don't own Hetalia: Axis Powers**

**Warning: Possible OOC.**

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_And otherwise known as Do Not Let Lovina Travel Alone. Ever._

"Uhh... Miss, your bag is in my seat..." Vincent Romanov said pleadingly to the woman who was glaring out of her window. He was currently standing in the isle of the First Class part of the airplane, clutching his heavy carry on in one hand. A small suitcase and a red hand bag was currently occupying his seat..

"Excuse me!"

"You're blocking the way-"

"Sir, please sit down-"

The middle-aged man gulped. The young lady sitting beside the window paid him no attention, her dark glasses up and expensive-looking headphones covering her ears. Her curly, dark auburn hair was swept back in a high ponytail, save for her bangs, that was parted at the side, and a lone strand of curl that seemed to defy gravity. She was wearing a stylish red trench coat that opened halfway her chest. He tried not to look to much, but it almost looked like she was wearing only a bra.

Vincent sighed and reached for the bag. If she's not going to listen, then he'll just—

When he was almost touching the bag, the lady's hand just suddenly sprang up and grabbed him, giving him a heart attack.

"What the hell are you doing, tu stronzo?"

"I-" the man tried to speak. Man, that girl has a powerful grip!

"Don't touch my bag." There was venom in her voice. She had taken off her headphones, but her shades still covered her eyes.

"I was just about to move it to the floor..." he tried to reason out, but the lady clicked her tongue and took her bag and put it on her lap. Vincent tried to help her with the small suitcase but she svowled and grumbled that she could do it by herself. He murmured a small "thank you" in which went unheard as the lady put her headphones back. He sighed once again and sat down. This is proving to be a long ride...

"Hello, this is Captain Vash Zwingli in Flight 760, from Kiev to Washington, United States. We will approximately landing in 10 hours and 9 minutes..."

Ten hours isn't so bad, is it?

The next time he woke up, the lady next to him was rummaging through her bag. Though she looked furious, she still seemed to move her hand carefully in the bag, as if she was afraid to destroy something valuable in the bag. She unbuckled her seatbelt and stood up, not even saying a single excuse when she jumped over Vincent's legs and walked towards the place where the pilot usually is. To his surprise and confusion, none of the stewards stopped her; in fact, they acted as if she wasn't even there.

Vincent was usually not very...nosy, but the lady just seemed to be like... The type you would want to know— need to know about. He checked to see if she was coming, then took a peek inside her bag.

Red. That was the first thing that he saw. Then he realized he was looking at a bag filled with tomatoes.

What the heck?

"Look, tu grilletto-felice bastardo," the brown-haired female in the red coat, otherwise known as Lovina Vargas, hissed at the pilot. Beside the pilot was a younger-looking female that looked the same as the pilot. "I forgot my documents. I need you to turn back right now!"

"But Signora, we can't do that," the girl, whose name is Lili Zwingli, said soothingly. "Bruder is alfready halfway through the flight. Besides, your apartment is still being searched right now."

"I need it! It's the original copies of my fake documents! It's basicly what I need to have to survive in goddamn America—"

"Then make another," Vash, Lili's older brother and the pilot, snapped at the Italian. "It's not our fault you weren't prepared to leave. Look at you."

"Listen here, Mr-I-don't-give-a-flying-fuck, the only reason the two of you are alive anyways is because of me! Now turn this plane around."

"We need your safety, Signora, that's why we are still alive. That's why you can't go back," Lili said simply.

"Then what do you expect me to do in America? Rot under my brother's bed?"

"Ja, and stay there."

"Urgh!" Lovina growled, slamming each of her rough hands on the back of their seats. She rose up and kicked the door open, then made her way to the cockpit. The microphone for announcements got her eye, and sparked an idea.

"Oi, damned Russians, or Chinese or whatever you are... Your luggages were stolen by the secret police from Switzerland or whatever..."

Vincent paled. It sounds like...like the red-coat female... What is she trying to do?

"Yeah, and like those adopted sisters from Litchen— Lychen— whatever place it is near Switzerland like, are short girls with no boobs and like to knit their Swiss fratellos frilly pink pajamas—"

Lili and Vash redened. How did she know about that?!

"And by the way, tell the fucking pilot I won't stop until he turns this plane around."

"I'm going, bruder."

As the Italian female rattled on more about how Russians have bad taste in making pasta and that they can never have fresh tomatoes and that's why they suck, and that China didn't invent delicious pasta, Italy did, Vincent shut his eyes up and covered his ears. Several passengers were growing offended and annoyed by the foul-mouthed woman. The door opened from where the pilot is, and a short girl in a security uniform emerged, carrying a baton.

...what the hell is going on?

The little girl brushed past the passengers and to the cockpit. Some passengers were taken aback when they saw the girl pass by, and stared all the way to the back. To their surprise, the little girl sneaked up behind the woman, hitting the woman in the head with her baton. The woman crumpled to the ground, and the girl dragged her all the way to Vincent. Without saying anything, the girl draped the older-looking woman over his knees and left. Vincent sighed and ignored the stares as he helped the unconcious woman up her seat— and oh gods, is that blood?

4 more hours, Vincent. 4 more hours.

An hour later, the woman woke up with a string of curses, muttering in Italian.

By then, Vincent had seen that the woman had been handcuffed, and her head was bleeding. He tried asking help from the people on board, but they ignored him. He saw the woman catch his eye, and immediately looked away.

"Hey."

Vincent shut his eyes, pretending not to hear her. That woman smells like trouble and Chanel No. 5.

"Hey, asshole."

Oh shi— her voice seems nearer than before...

"Don't ignore me!"

A chain of metal was his only warning before the woman caught his neck by her handcuffs and tugged.

"Whhhaaaaaaaatttt?!" Vincent cried, clawing on the metal chains. That fucking hurt!

The chain loosened, but he still felt it around his neck.

"Grab my bag, shitface."

Vincent gulped, feeling the chain tighten around his adam's apple for a moment, and retrieved the woman's bag.

"Now get me a tomato."

"W-what..."

He choked a bit when she tightened down on his neck.

"Okay, okay, I'll get it..." Why don't you get it yourself?

"Because my back hurts and I'm too damn hot to bend over," the woman said, grabbing the tomato from Vincent's hand.

"Plus I want to strangle you."

4 more hours.

For the next hour, the female ate five tomatoes, asking Vincent if he wanted one. Vincent nodded, feeling threatened, and that something bad will happen to him if he said no. The woman gave him an unattractive smirk and laughed, saying "you're not getting one, asshole."

Thirty minutes later, the little girl from the pilot's compartment showed up again, and in rapid Italian, talked to the handcuffed woman. He saw the woman pout, then growl, them paled, then sighed and let the other girl take the handcuffs off.

Vincent watched the little girl skip back to the pilot's compartment, then turned to the red-coat woman.

"Hey, umm..."

She stared back at him (well, it looked like it, cuz she still haven't removed her glasses), scowling as if he was her most hated person ever.

"W-why did you do that? I-I mean...with the announcements..." 'which were really rude,' he wanted to add but decided against it.

Her scowl grew even more (if it can) and she leaned towards him, and poked his head. He shivered. Those nails are sharp...

"Because this plane is mine, and I can do whatever I fucking want with it. In fact," she raised her voice, making heads turn to her direction.

She made her way back to the intercom, and in a very loud voice, asked, "Lili, Vash, is it teim to hijack the plane yet? I already planted all the bombs you know~"

Chaos errupted.

Vincent slouched in his seat, holding his seatbelt as if it were his life line when the plane plunged down for a moment. Panicked cries rang out, and a very angry Swiss gent in the pilot's uniform barged in the first class, holding a shotgun.

Oh yeah.

And it was fully loaded.

"That's it! Lovina, get your — a— right now, or I'll — you then— your face, so — not even your Nono can — you and you can — for all I — care!"

Silence filled the whole space, then a woman screamed, plunging the plane into even more mass destruction and chaos.

Lovina say comfortably beside a Japanese girl wearing pink traditional clothing in the economy class. The girl was smiling, and Lovina grimaced, tossing a coin then covering it with her hand. Both were ignoring the turmoil behind them.

"If you guess right, I'm going to go again. If you guess wrong I'm not goin' to detonate the bomb."

"But that's not fair. Heads."

Lovina peeked at the coin. Heads. She clicked her tongue and shook her head.

"You got it wrong. Sorry, no bomb detonation."

"You're lying," the small japanese girl giggled. "It's cute~!"

"Chigi! Don't call me cute, okay?" Lovina scolded not too harshly, though there was a faint blush on her cheeks. "You're also cute. Not that it's uncommon! All kids are cute, alright? Not just you!"

"Arigato!"

"Che..."

"Lovina!"

An angry Swiss barreled his way in, completely not helping with the situation. Moments after he saw her, the end of the gun was pointed inside her mouth.

"Oh bruder..." Lili groaned, keeping the plane from crashing down. "Hurry back..."

The next time, Lovina found herself bound in thick ropes in her seat and ducktape over her mouth. She glared out of the window to pass time, looking over the land that was America. They were just about to arrive.

Vincent squirmed uneasily in his seats, throwing her nervous looks from time to time. He leant far from her, as if she was going to hurt him.

Well, at least she still has her shades on.

"Dammit! That hurt like bitch, Alps-bastard!" Lovina cussed, getting harsh and pointed glares from parents and elders passing by.

Lovina rubbed her wrists together, which were tied together for about two hours that they were in the plane. There was a pale, rectangular patch of skin surrounding her lips where the duck tape had been. "Maybe if you didn't do all those things because you were bored, you wouldn't have been tied up," Lili said, giggling.

"I wasn't bored, damn it! I needed my papers!"

"Which you didn't think of when you rushed out of your hotel in your underwear carrying your precious tomatoes and that shades," Vash said harshly, moving ahead as he dragged Lovina's bigger suitcase. Lili had the smaller one, Lovina was busy complaining about how everything hurts.

"Oh great," Lovina stopped, putting her hand on her hips irritatedly.

"Hm? What is it?"

She pointed forward.

"Luggage check."

"Excuse me, Miss, please stand aside here for a moment." Lovina shut her eyes and rubbed her lips together. 'Don't get angry... Don't get angry...' she repeated in her mind. She stepped over to the airport personnel's side and watched him open her bag.

"Miss, you—"

"Look here." Lovina interrupted, closing the suitcase, completely ignoring the personnel's yelp when she slammed it on his hand and slammed a piece of paper in from of him. "I have permission from the owner of this airport to travel with anything and everything I want."

The personnel stared at her blankly then stared at the paper.

"When was this issued, Miss?"

"Err... Five years ago."

"This airport was bought by Gonadalla Corp. Last year."

"Shit."

"Yes, Miss."

Lovina contemplated this and zipped her suitcase close. "What are you going to do now?"

"Call for security to confiscate your ba—"

"RAAAAGHH!"

"Holy sh—H-hey, wait!"

Before the man could finish, Lovina lifted her small bag up with a yell and bolted out with it. Without stopping, she crashed through the glass doors before the doors could open, to the outside, where Vash and Lili were waiting in a pick-up truck (they nicked from somewhere in the parking lot).

"Signora, hurry!" Lili yelled, seemingly unable to wipe the cute grin off her face. Lovina tossed the suitcase at the back and opened the door to the passengers seat, shouting, "GOGOGOGO!"

Vash stepped on the gas, and the truck roared to life and sped away.

"Dammit!"

Lovina left the truck door open, choosing to wave her middle finger to the figures getting smaller in the distance.

"CIAO, M****RF****RS!"

Lovina continued laughing as she ducked in the car and closed the car door with a slam. "Haha! Can you believe those brainless dickheads?! Hahaha!"

Silence greeted her, then she met the eyes of two not-so-law abiding siblings that were pulled out of college just to take care of her.

"To Washington!"

"Signora," Vash said, taking his eyes off the road for a moment.

"You are in big trouble," Lili continued.

"Says who?" Lovina scoffed, waving them off.

"Says me."

Lovina's eyes widened when her grandfather's voice was loudly emitted from the front seat. She leaned forward, seeing her grandfather's face in the screen of Lili's iPad. She "eep!"-ed and hid behind Lili's seat.

"Lili!" she hissed. "This is no time for Facetime!"

"Lovina, I can hear you."

"Ah... Hello, Nonno..." Lovina reluctantly peered from behind Lili.

"Lili here was just talking about your travel..."

"Oh, no talking while driving! Bye Nonno!" Before her grandfather could continue, Lovina ended the call and took the iPAd and deleted the application.

"You know, Signora," Lili said as Lovina handed her iPad back. "I'll just add that back."

"Shut up Lili."

"Okay."

"Vash," Lovina said. Vash grunted. "You know where to go."

"Ve, Luddy! Luddy! Over here!" Ludwig's eye twitched and made his way over to his friend and roommate's locker.

"Yes?"

"Luddy, my sorella is making her way here right now! She's here!"

As soon as Feliciano mentioned "my sorella", Antonio popped out beside him.

"Really?"

"Si! Also, Vash and Lili is with her!"

"Vash and Lili?" Ludwig asked.

"They're Lovi's childhood friends!"

"And yours?"

"No," Antonio chirped in. "Lovi and Vash and Lili always stuck together, and even grew up together. Feli was raised by his mama and papa while Lovi was with me and her nonno."

"Si! That's why she's kind of a dick!"

"Feli, that's no way to talk about your sister," Ludwig said, rubbing his temples.

"Ve? But it's true..."

"What's true?"

The three college students turned to look behind them, where a young woman in a red coat stood. Shades covered half her face, but the scowl she wore remained apparent. Behind her, a boy with blond hair and piercing green eyes looked around the school critically, especially eyeing the poorly-written "u r a douche" on the wall with a glare. A girl with the same hair but a more turquois eyes looked at them with curiosity, a small smile gracing her lips.

"Lovi~!"

"Lovi~!

Antonio and Feliciano cheered at the same time and launched themselves at the girl.

"Tsk, you're heavy dammit!"

The two boys stepped back, then Feliciano reached out and groped his sister's chest.

"Ve? You're not wearing clothes?" he asked, pulling a bit of her coat apart, showing a very lacy bra to everyone in the vicinity.

Lili and Vash's head snapped towards him disbelievingly and the other students in the vicinity that heard his exact words flushed with embarrassment.

Lovina's hand quickly shot up to cover herself, and her face was beet red. "Chigi! Stupid fratello! Let me borrow your clothes, you bastard!"

"It won't fit you, ve~" Feliciano chirped. "You're big. Maybe Luddie can lend you his clothes?"

"Luddie?" Lovina's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Luddie, my best friend in the whole world, and the best roommate ever!" Feliciano said, waving his arms around then pointing to a slightly flustered Ludwig.

Lovina glanced at him, and pushed her shades up to examine him. Ludwig met her steely glaze with his blue eyes.

Lovina glared, not liking this guy one bit.

Ludwig thought that Lovina has the most captivating eyes he has ever seen.

"What are you staring at, Potato Bastard?!" she snapped at him. Ludwig blinked. "Pardon?"

"Stop staring at me damn Potato!"

"I—"

"Lovi! Don't be mean to Luddie!" Feliciano cried, then with Antonio, bear-hugged the screeching Italian and dragged her to their (Feli and Lud's) dorm.

Vash followed them, nodding at Ludwig in a stiff manner then towing Lovina's larger suitcase and her handbag. Lili bowed to him in a polite manner, gave him a smile and said,"Bitte entschuldigen Sie meine Frau—Sie ist nicht sehr freundlich."

He nodded back to her, giving her a small smile. "Es ist in Ordnung."

He watched as she rushed after Lovina and Vash with a smaller suitcase.

Come to think of it, where are they staying?

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**Please R&R~!**


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